Hard Conversations & the Paradox of Freedom
The Declaration of independence was declared on July 2nd, 1776 approved on July 4th, but wasn’t signed until August 2nd of the same year. Not only that, but the declaration was technically premature - the war didn’t end until six years later in 1783. It was not a final decree, it was a clarion call - a call to action.
America had, in a very real sense, declared freedom before it had it.
The Declaration of Independence had four major parts: the reason for writing it, the rights of all people, the grievances against king George and the self-proclaimed right to revolution.
The intentions were good. On paper it was something everyone could agree on. As far as we know, it was the first-ever statement drafted by a nation’s people asserting their right to choose their own government. And with the document, the 13 colonies - a diversity of races, backgrounds, cultures, countries of origin and socioeconomic status were united on paper around a common goal - to be united and free.
Does our country feel united right now? Or does it feel more divided than ever?
It depends on who you ask, whether it’s the NY Times, the Associated Press, ABC’s FiveThirtyEight or The Conversation, we may be tempted to agree that yes indeed we are more divided than ever over really tough issues.
Issues like politics, our history, justice or religion. And these these aren’t exactly easy things to talk about or address. Tempers flare, friendships end, family members don’t speak to one another and spouses prepare the couch for the one ‘in the wrong’.
But…
If we don’t talk about what’s hard, then it can be easy to think that everything is OK.
Here are some recent hard conversations our nation has had to have that created some division:
What constitutes a safe work environment?
What statues of our historical figures stay up and which come down?
What’s more important right now: people’s safety or the economy?
What does racial justice look like? And if at all, have I, we contributed to it?
What mascots or team names are offensive?
Some of you just shut down at the mention of some of these. Some of you, you got a nervous energy in your head, some of you felt intense emotion. These subjects are polarizing, but they need a discussion.
Avoiding hard conversations isn’t the answer. Having hard conversations without being thoughtful of others isn’t helpful either.
Here are a few realizations that can be helpful however as we have hard conversations:
Disagreement doesn’t make you or someone else a terrible person.
Our usage, understanding and timing of our words is our responsibility.
Talking about tough subjects is hard without getting emotional, angry or defensive.
Before we point the finger at someone else, let’s find what we can own, what we can learn.
Let’s listen before we levy an accusation.
Labeling someone anything is a sure way to stop a conversation, cost a job or disintegrate a relationship.
Our words, our timing, our conversations about hard subjects are all important. But but for most of us, if not all of us, we aren’t just interested in what’s being said - that’s a big part of it - but we’re also interested in what will be done.
To put it in different terms: intentions matter, but so do actions. And they should match, otherwise, we may come off as disingenuous, hypocritical, or at least unintentional or lacking follow through. Think about it this way:
If action without intention can be DAMAGING, intention without action is just DREAMING.
This is part of the reason that so many people are frustrated, angry or desiring change in America. They want our country to act on, not just intend on, being the country we started out saying we were going to be.
And for a lot of people, our good intentions, do not match up with their bad experience.
We may intend to have racial equality but unless we evaluate our history, culture, actions and language they are just empty words. We may say we value women publicly, but unless we take action by interviewing, hiring and platforming them, it rings hollow.
So, how do we follow good intentions, with great actions to prevent bad experiences?
God actually models this for us quite well. He started off with good intentions:
Ephesians 1:3-3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.
It’s interesting when you throw Jesus into the mix because somehow Jesus is on everyone’s side - Democrats, Republicans, Conservatives, Liberals, activists, traditionalists, Christians, Mormons, etc. The list goes on. Here’s the thing though:
Jesus doesn’t take sides, He takes over.
Jesus takes over everything to unify it, all of creation including us. It all belongs to Him.
From before the beginning of creation God intended and God acted:
God chose us before we had a choice.
He predestined us to be in His family.
He redeemed us from sin and death through Jesus Christ.
He made known His will and intentions.
He unifies all of creation in Christ.
He works out everything for His Good
He sealed our future with His Holy Spirit.
We need to be reminded of the values our country was built on. We need to be reminded what our part is in carrying them out as citizens.
But more importantly, we need to be reminded of who is really in control and responsible for all good things in advance - God.
Good things definitely don’t come from us - even when we intend them to. Paul reminds us of this fact just a chapter later, and the picture is decidedly less inspiring:
Ephesians 2:18-23 As for you,
Paul went back into a time where time hadn’t even begun, to talk about God’s intentions and action on our behalf. And now Paul is about to go back to our pasts. For the Christian, it’s a look back at the past that we have been saved from to realize how far God has taken us forward; and, maybe offensively so, it’s an indictment on the person who has yet to know the hope and power of God in Jesus Christ.
you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—
One of the major values that we hold dear here in America, and indeed every human being values - is freedom. But no one is really free, not truly. And we’re even less free without God. Without knowing God, our ultimate freedom is taken away - the freedom to live. We cannot choose otherwise, unless God, who is rich in mercy makes us alive with Christ.
Here is the surprising truth about freedom: True freedom is only possible with RESTRICTIONS.
This is what makes the beliefs of Christianity so paradoxical - in order to be first, you must be last, in order find yourself you have to die to yourself, in order to get true riches you have to give yours away, in order to live you have to die - and in order to be truly free, you have to acknowledge that true freedom only happens in a restricted manner - in Christ.
One of the pivotal parts of the Gospel is to acknowledge that we have sinned against God. Talk about a hard subject! Most of us are taught from an early age or at least told - ‘you’re a good person’. The problem is the Gospel says the opposite - that we aren’t good. And not just that, but that without Christ we have no freedoms of our own, and that something else rules over us - namely sin.
Which means that true freedom is restricted in Christ.
The conversation about sin, the state of our nation, our shortcomings as people and our contribution to the divisiveness in our country may be hard to talk about, but usually we agree on one thing as Americans - we all value freedom. My hope for you in this challenging time during COVID and as we continue to be in this sometimes-toxic political environment is that we run together towards true freedom - to freedom in Christ.